broken transmissions and frozen pillows

Burning up today...bicycle ride with no shirt yesterday....riding yesterday, saw a buddhist monk sitting where the drugged out homeless people sit....somehow he looked the homeless part himself...glazed eyes, ruddy skin...tweaker Siddhartha...later when I rode home, tweaker Siddhartha was still there, he smiled at me, a creepy child molester smile made no less so by the saffron robes and flip flops....met jaxon later...he hadnt done his Sinatra homework...no show produced...I think he needs to outsource his show to some Sinatra sweat shop in Burma, because the local Sinatra butter churn isnt working....yeah, thats the way to go, a bunch of 11 yr old Burmese girls producing Sinatra for 31 cents a day...too bad Burma is no longer a country, its now Myannamar....wonder why they changed the name, hmm better not pursue that Constantinople thought pattern...later I had drinks with Jaxon.....I think there is something wrong with his drinking transmission....no 2nd or 3rd gear, when Jaxon drinks he goes from 1st gear to 4th gear seamlessly...the top fuel dragster of drinking...Jaxon generally hits the inebriation line first, but his parachute isnt working....he stops by hitting the concrete retaining wall, crude but effective...I wonder if he made any phone calls when he got home, Ginnie made some excess zinfandel calls the other night....realizing the next morning that we need a new technology....a companion technology to caller ID, the caller alcohol content ID...the phone breathalyzer...I like the idea...its sort of energy efficient, saving about 60 million morning after apologies per year...Ginnie has another theory I like....Ginnie believes that as the batteries in smoke detectors get low they turn into hangover detectors beginning to chirp incessantly in the middle of the night....especially if you made the egregious mistake of somehow combining chianti and kahlua...Chirp chirp chirp....I have taken to putting my chirping smoke detectors in the freezer, but they chirp louder when they are cold....last night I thought I could hear one of those hangover detectors chirping from the freezer...grudgingly (and muttering "fuck fuck fuck" under my breath) I got up...went to the kitchen, heard chirping....went back, got a pillow and muzzled that little sucker and stuck it back in the freezer....10 mins later...Chirp, chirp chirp....Grrrr, oh fuck its the phone low on battery power....jesus now I got two devices working as hangover detectors...Cagney the phone and Lacey the smoke detector making me do the alphabert, er aaplhabet ummm...alphabet backwards....peace restored and alphabet recited to the satisfaction of all I returned to bed....actually even slept decently after that...waking up inspired I proceeded to wash the sheets and pillow cases...hey wait a second there is a pillow missing...d'oh I remember....and there it was, tucked in the freezer...frozen pillow...hmm I think I just found an idiot detector...no batteries required