Hope

I got news this morning that my brother (half brother) had died over the weekend...I have cried some, probably not enough. Mostly I just have a sick feeling inside. My Father didnt know about it so I was entrusted to relay the news to him. He was stoic in the moment, but I know he will be emotionally devastated...if my own reactions are subverted, it will only be because my Father will need my support.

I don't know how my brother died...he had a very hard life...hard core drug user, prison time, colon cancer surgery recently, but during the last 10 yrs he had rehabilitated himself considerably, getting a degree in counseling and working with troubled youth. But after the cancer surgery, things had been tough. He had some periodic relapses...and well I'm guessing Chemotherapy and heroin are a bad bad combo....so I'll wait for the tox reports and see if I can glean some answers. But I think I know why my brother died....I think he lost hope...no hope killed him...the cancer and/or possible drug use simply took advantage of the loss of hope....

...never give up hope.