Riding the Bicycle on the Roof of the Garage.

Good friends....they hang out together for no particular reason other than they enjoy each others company. My friend Steve Jaxon (aka Jax) was doing a remote yesterday. By remote I mean a live remote radio broadcast from the Wells Fargo Center. I go hang out...well "just because". You know that logic your mother would use when you were eight; the "just because" logic. You would question your mothers decision on something, thinking that you could do some sort of Vulcan mind trick and get your mother caught in a logical contradiction. The sort of logical contradiction that would change the ground rules from that moment forward, forever allowing you the free will to be yourself at eight years old...superior to all other eight year olds, forever able to decide your own fate without parental intervention. "Ooh cake for breakfast." Then your mother would turn Zen-like and respond "just because". A response against which there was no additional argument. The terminus of reason. It was at that precise moment you realized you never would get to ride your bicycle on the roof of the garage after all. Yeah, I was hanging out the remote for no logical reason...I was there, "just because".

The remote broadcast was in conjunction with a Santa Rosa Chamber of Commerce networking event. 60 or 70 local merchants had set-up booths to promote their services and /or products. An event which sounds boring as hell [caution: momentary cynicism ahead] thank god there were no attorneys there....but in the process of hanging out I noticed something...something powerful. There was a vibrancy among the merchants and attendees, a palpable energy...sometimes I wonder why I live in Sonoma County when San Francisco is so close....yesterday I felt more alive than being in San Francisco...yesterday was more reminiscent of being in Manhattan than sleepy Sonoma County. And that vibrancy was driven by women....the women merchants of Santa Rosa were smart, well dressed, sharp and positive...this wasnt West County Birkenstocks and Tie Dye skirts...this was $600 Manolo Blahniks, well-used gym memberships with optimism and initiative. This was sharp independent conscientious women driving local commerce. It wasnt until two hours after the event that something struck me...profoundly struck me....there was no talk of recession or a down economy at that event....nothing symbolic that would indicate any fears about our local economic future...there was only a buzz. I felt truly alive and happy that I was in Sonoma County...it was a "happening place". It was as if the injunction had been lifted and I had been permitted to ride my bike on the roof of the garage after all. Maybe even adding in a pillow case as a cape while I considered riding my bicycle off the edge. Yeah I felt that alive. [Caution:editorial moment ahead] To the extent that Santa Rosa & Sonoma County are able to transcend the world wide recession, I will point to the local women merchants....local women with global awareness making a difference. They are more than our green shoots...from what I saw yesterday, they are our foundation.

Independently, Jax noticed the same thing I did....our observations parallel, providing reciprocal affirmation of our respective thoughts. Uh oh that sounds way too snobbish..."reciprocal affirmation" ??? Okay let me re-phrase that....um, er, we was thinking the same. Yeah, Jax and I was on the same thought page. And while Jax normally harbors a silent disdain for remote broadcasts...this one was a little different. During the course of a three hour broadcast, Jax had maybe 20 or 30 people come up to him...many gushing, "are you Steve Jaxon?" followed by "we love your show". Radio shows are not inherently interactive...its hard to know if your audience likes or appreciates what you do. A comedian on-stage tells a joke and gets instant feedback from audience laughter....A radio show host does not get the same kind of feedback, there is a long long lag between doing your shows and getting any kind of metrics to gauge audience appreciation....as such it easy to become a trifle insecure, to second guess yourself...but to be among a group of people, a sampling of the community and to get that kind of appreciation was tremendously gratifying...Jax doesnt need the ego boost of the appreciation, but the validation that what he is doing has some meaning in peoples lives was about as good as it gets....yeah, Sonoma County was happening yesterday...I might stay for a while. Anybody got a pillow case?

a salsa with matching socks?

So I'm going to be a judge in the Great Petaluma Chili Cookoff. I wrote a bio...I tried to write a normal bio. I just wasnt feeling it...in the words of Yoda, "incapable was I" of writing a normal bio....I finally ended up with the toned description of my salsa credentials as follows:


Despite his free-spirit Michael is a salsa traditionalist. He believes that a great salsa should remind him of an afternoon in Cabo drinking Pacificos watching the whales or a night in Costa Rica eating fresh ceviche. He believes a champion salsa should remind him of a girl of dubious character named Consuelo.


Actually I think a great salsa should be slutty and tawdry...wearing ripped fishnets like a jammer for the Sonoma County Homewreckers Roller Derby team. A great salsa is like exceptional food...highly evocative. Great food evokes powerful memories: sailing in the Chesapeake, scuba diving in Aruba, walking through the Hong Kong airport your first time, a cabana in Honduras, your first little league baseball uniform,....great food is a chance meeting with intriguing celebrity...noticing Paloma Picasso sitting on the bar stool next to you, Mick Fleetwood asking you directions....great food is hitting a perfect drive on the 18th at Pebble Beach....great food is an insulted girlfriend throwing a drink in your face in public. Okay so great food isnt always perfect, but its memorable.

Yesterday was a little salsa pre-event in studio at KSRO....one salsa stood out before we even started. I could see fire-roasted tomatoes and fresh cilantro...a beautiful contrast in colors.
The other salsas were commercial entries, I was skeptical. And three salsa entries were mango based, one was described as a key lime salsa...I was momentarily enchanted by the words key lime, I could almost taste the key lime pie melting in my mouth...mmmmhhh, but when Laura Sunday called them fruity salsas I snapped to my senses...there is a word for fruity salsas....the word is CHUTNEY!! a salsa that goes better with tea and crumpets is not salsa....I don't want a salsa that tastes good over ice cream....I dont want salsa that listens to Kenny G or has matching socks, I dont want a salsa that has car seat covers...a smooth jazz salsa with sheepskin??? Pass....next entry please

I want a salsa with worn out floorboards and an arrest record....I want a salsa that cheats on her boyfriend....I want a salsa with a secret life....slipping away to Vegas for the weekend to do lap dances for $20 a pop...I want a salsa that likes mud wrestling. I want a salsa that failed economics in college. I want a salsa that has stayed up for three days. I want a salsa that has been to rehab.

There is no such thing as a good christian salsa...no such thing as a salsa that resists temptation...no such thing as a salsa that doesnt kiss and tell, no such thing as a salsa that drives a Volvo at the speed limit.....I want my salsa in a convertible, half-naked causing commotion on Highway 1 near Ft Ross. I want my salsa wearing leopard print to a funereal....I want my salsa doing Jello shots and shooting pool. I want my salsa hung over and bleary eyed. I want my salsa to be grumpy and irritable. I want my salsa throwing chairs like Bobby Knight. I want my salsa to have a golf swing like Charles Barkley.

So with a little bit of trepidation I will head to Petaluma on Saturday...and look for Consuelo...

...to be continued

The competition was fun...pure Americana....the top three finishers were described as follows:

1. A salsa that would get the most beads at Mardi Gras...the full Consuelo.
2. A mean tattooed salsa that hangs around in biker bars looking for a fight...but like Mickey Rourke in Barfly, he loses more bar fights than he wins
3. A genuine suiza tomatillo surprise....

...til next year